it literally stresses me out how much good music there is that i still haven’t listened to
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
I would betray all of you in the Hunger Games
- call you names
- tell you weird and personal details about myself
- say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
- type in caps a lot.
If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:
- talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts
- share funny photos from my tumblr dash
- actually tell you when i’m upset
- try to make conversation with you
- just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
- tell you jokes even if they’re bad
GUESS WHO’S GOT A DATE THIS FRIDAY
well not me but someone out there probably. you go pal.
Accidental personal injuries are absolutely the worst. “Oh, how did you do that?” “Well, frankly, I’m an idiot.”
The dumbest moment of my life was once I was at work and ordered a tea and one of my coworkers suggested honey in the tea so I got excited and agreed to it and then when I sat down to drink it I got really angry because I’m allergic to honey